I remember the last time I saw my mother. She was sleeping peacefully and my heart hurt to see how painfully thin she had become. I glanced at the clock and knew it was time to wake her and kiss her good-bye. My dear friend Betsy (who I’ve been friends with since we were 13 years old) kindly allowed me to borrow her car on my twice monthly visits to mom when I could afford to fly instead of doing the 10 hour drive. I would fly from southern California to the San Francisco airport and then I would catch a shuttle and ride north for an hour and a half to Novato where mom was living in assisted care. Betsy would pick me up at the shuttle stop and take me to her home about 20 minutes away and then I would borrow her extra car and go to mom. At the end of my long weekend, we would reverse the process. If I was late getting to Betsy or late getting to the shuttle then I risked missing my plane to get back home. I hated to wake mom when she looked so serene and out of pain, but I only had about 5 minutes before I had to leave for Betsy.
As I started to stand mom’s caretaker, Ally sat down next to me and put a book down in front of me.
“I need help,” she said.
The book was ‘The Purpose Driven Life’ by Pastor Rick Warren. I asked Alicia what she needed help with and she flipped the book open to the chapter that explains how to pray and ask Jesus to become your personal savior.
“What is the problem?” I asked.
“I’m afraid to do this prayer, I’m afraid of what I may have to give up. Will I have to give up smoking if I say this prayer?”
I looked at mom again, and in my mind, I asked God if he seriously wanted me to deal with this in the 5 minutes I had left. I did answer Ally, but it was a short answer and I promised to follow-up with a phone call. I don’t remember what I said to her then or later, but her questions have stuck with me.
I am fascinated by how people come to Jesus. There are so many different stories out there. I have been asked more than once, “What will I have to give up to become a Christian?” or some variation of that question. People inherently do not like change, even when it is good change. We tend to be complacent and comfortable in not making any changes in our lives. Oh, sure, there are people out there who are more adventurous than others, but in general change stresses us. If you look at a list of the top 10 most stressful things a person can experience it will include things like death, marriage, moving to a new address, a new job, etc. These are all things that involve a lot of change.
I was thinking about all of this during my prayer time the other morning and that led me to question what I personally have had to give up to become a Christian. Here is my list:
Fear
Worry
Hopelessness
Shame
Guilt
The past
Judgement
Conforming
Gossip
Holding Grudges
Anger
Hate
Helplessness
That’s a pretty long list and I will address each of these in the next few weeks. In the meantime, I have a question for you.
If you aren’t a Christian, my question is: What are you afraid to give up to follow Jesus?
If you are a Christian, then I just want to ask: What’s on your list?
Living Up to Mom 